Change

I've heard it said that the only constant in this earthly life is change(other than death and over taxation). Over the past few days, a few things have become quite apparent to me. I've prayed and listened more and talked less. I need to do more in the service of others. This is where my change starts for 2017. 

I will be looking to work with the public again. I want to be more involved in my church's soul winning ministry. I want to be able to share my faith more effectively. I want to become a better listener. I want to make sure I'm there for my friends when they need me. I also want be a better witness. I need to let God lead, both through prayer and reading His word. 

Last year at this time, I was so wrapped up in campaign mode, I couldn't even squeeze anything else in my schedule or in my thought process. Until early May, I lived and breathed campaigning. It was fun. I was with like minded people everyday working for a goal. After that all blew up in early May, I tried to fill that time with other pursuits. Working for work's sake had become dreary. I didn't feel I was doing what God wanted me to do. Until last night, I have been in a rut for several months. 

Last night, during my prayer time, a wave of peace came over me. I just need to put my head down and serve others. I need to let go and choose not to let negative people who don't follow God bring me down. If I've given them the Gospel and it still doesn't matter to them, I'll continue to pray, but I can't let their unwillingness to change cause me to have a bad testimony. I believe God is telling me it is OK to let go. This doesn't mean I quit loving these people, but it does mean that I need to let my burden for them go. God will work on them and it's up to them to surrender to Him. Instead of living in fear of what I couldn't do or couldn't have, I must be grateful for what I do have and continue to serve Him.

The other thing I continue to work on is showing gratitude and love to my friends, my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. One specific couple has been there for me over the last few months when I felt I could turn to no one else. I need to be there for them in this coming year. They are in my prayers.(They know who they are.) I also need to make sure I support my other friends as they leave for their upcoming tour. They've done so much for the cause of Christ and I pray they continue to do so. They've shown me how to live and I love them for it. I also need to continue to pray for my pastor. He's a good man with a good family leading a great body of believers. 

Over the next few weeks, I will be looking at what I can do in 2017 to live like I should. I need to let anger and frustration go. I need to let God lead. I am willing to surrender to Him and get my own aspirations out of the way. Thanks for letting me bend your ear, so to speak.

The above quote has resonated with me for the last few months. I need to do more. I need to be better to people who don't know me and to people who do. I look forward to what God will bring in 2017.

Enough!

As many of you may, or may not know, my life has been changed greatly over the last year. Much of this has been due to my church and the people I've met through this church. My friends have had a great effect on me. I see the world as a place to serve others, rather than only myself. I have found joy where none existed before. God is always good. One thing that has greatly increased in me is my sense of the amazing differences God bestowed upon each one of us. No one is the same and there are some differences that God intended us to respect. First and foremost of those is the respect a man should have toward a woman(any woman).

A little background before I go any further. I have never been one to have many female friends. That has changed over the past year. The ladies in my church are great. Several I consider to be good friends. This has changed my perspective, mainly because many of these women are godly and respectful. They honor God and respect the word of God. When you see ladies like this in everyday life, a new respect for women is developed.

I think some blame can be placed for the moral sewer we are in right at the feet of the feminist movement over the past 50 years, downplaying the inherent differences between men and women. Men have gone from cherishing women to competing with them. I don't think this is the way God intended us to live. Before you decry me as a misogynist, I believe, as the civil law says, all people are equal before that law. Also, before you get mad, realize that I am advocating that men honor women and women respect men. Both sides have much to work on because our culture has muddled what it is to be a godly man and a godly woman to the point that this aspect of life is almost unrecognizable. Boys need to be raised to be godly men and girls need to be raised to be godly women, and until we get back there, this will continue. It's taken me over thirty years of life to realize this.

Now, to the meat of my message. I am tired of people who, for many years and decades, have hammered the left(rightly so, I might add) for being anti family and anti Christian and anti morality and now have gone all in for Donald Trump because they are afraid of the bogeywoman Democrat running for president. I know Hillary Clinton is a disaster and she will likely be an enemy of the church. Ask anyone who knows me and they can tell you how much I did to try to prevent the scenario we're facing right now. Nearly 10,000 miles traveled and thousands of doors knocked on will attest to that point too. I've been in this fight for quite some time.

Fast forward to today and people I once respected and looked to for moral guidance have left the Christian movement high and dry. People like Franklin Graham, Dr. James Dobson, and Tony Perkins have flushed their ability to speak to issues of morality and biblical sexuality down the drain. How are we supposed to be able to advocate for marriage being a forever promise between God and our prospective spouse when people the same people who told us that for years are now covering for a man who trades in his wives when they get too old, like a wealthy man does with his cars? Michael Farris, who has been instrumental in the homeschool movement and was a founding member of the "Moral Majority" in the 1980's said this,

 "The premise of the meeting in 1980 was that only candidates that reflected a biblical worldview and good character would gain our support.

Today, a candidate whose worldview is greed and whose god is his appetites (Philippians 3) is being tacitly endorsed by this throng." 

I couldn't agree more with what Mr. Farris said. The Christian right has become what they railed against for so many years.

When people, who have made it their business and their mission to speak up for traditional values, throw their credibility away for political expediency, we know they have bought into what Satan peddles. No one is righteous before God, but we must try to be. Giving in to a disgusting man, like Donald Trump, because of a fear of his opponent shows a stunning lack of faith in God. A phrase my pastor used several months ago keeps coming back. So many people are trying to "put God in a box".

On October 7th, when I first saw the piece about Trump's hot mic comments regarding how he treats women, I told some friends of mine, but I wouldn't even send the article to my female friends. I did send it to their dad and let him know what I thought so that he could inform them, but I wasn't going to subject them to that kind of filth. I couldn't bring myself to do that. Fast forward to just last week and a piece by Nancy French in the Washington Post,

"Republicans who have lamented the Clintonian proclivity to malign women are now defending the same activities because … well, they idolize power or their own strategic cleverness. Trump, like the preacher, is too important to abandon. We have become what we said we despised."

I was in tears by the end of this piece. I want nothing to do with a movement or a party that will excuse one vile and awful person just because the other might be worse. I can't do it. I have screwed up many times in my life and I've paid a price for doing so. Relationships have been harmed. I was on the wrong path. I've found my way back, thanks to God working through so many good people and lots of personal reflection and prayer. I don't want to go back to the path that isn't from God's word.

Shortly after reading that piece, Nancy's husband, David French, released this piece in National Review,

"I distinctly remember the first time I saw a picture of my then-seven-year-old daughter’s face in a gas chamber. It was the evening of September 17, 2015. I had just posted a short item to the Corner calling out notorious Trump ally Ann Coulter for aping the white-nationalist language and rhetoric of the so-called alt-right. Within minutes, the tweets came flooding in. My youngest daughter is African American, adopted from Ethiopia, and in alt-right circles that’s an unforgivable sin. It’s called “race-cucking” or “raising the enemy.”"

David French and his wife, Nancy, adopted a child from Ethiopia. He was a subject of scorn and ridicule for this because a sizable minority of Trump supporters, Trump's cult, if you will, think this is disgusting. We have to push back against this type thinking. Enough is enough.


As I read an email from a friend of mine last night, her work and her words rang true. She is burdened for two young ladies in the community she is staying in who have an abusive and immoral father. She's trying to combat what so many "evangelical" leaders are now excusing as locker room talk. She is reaching out to young women in a different country, trying to help them overcome what society has become. She, through the Holy Spirit working through her, is doing what we all need to do. We need to readjust our focus from a purely political and worldly focus to one of reaching the lost for Christ and then helping them to walk the path laid out for us in the word of God. This friend has reminded me of that calling and I think we all need a reminder, from time to time.

Stop making up excuses for evil! Stop making up excuses for fearing man! Fear God and speak the truth in love! Jesus still saves and God will still be in control on November 9th, just as He is right now.

Some more resources and reading:

"I want to ask the men leading the GOP some questions. Why didn’t you defend women from this raging sexist especially after so many Republican women — for so many years — eagerly defended the party from charges of sexism? You must make us out for fools."

"Only 9% of Americans chose Trump and Clinton as the major party nominees. The one is a repeat donor of the other. Trump endorsed Hillary Clinton over both John McCain and Barack Obama in 2008. He has given to her campaign repeatedly. He defended Bill Clinton in the 90’s against Paula Jones, et al."

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Blessings

With the craziness of this presidential campaign almost totally behind me (the 2020 campaign starts in just a few months), I have had a chance to evaluate the blessings in my life. In the past, I didn't pause to do this. I was looking forward to see what was next and I didn't stop to give thanks for what I had. Now, I give thanks everyday.

I must thank God for blessing me with each and every day. I don't think most Americans stop to do this every day. I know I didn't do this for the longest time. For that, I ask God's forgiveness. I should never look past the gift of life and all that is included in that.

I give thanks for the people God has placed in my life. I used to think that I was better off being on my own and not having to worry about anyone else. I was so wrong. After my experiences of the past 9 months, I have come to the realization that we all need a group of people to call on when we have a need, whether that need is just a need for someone to talk to or a need for someone to pray for you. I can attest to the power of prayer because I have seen prayer work in my life and knowing that there are people praying for you is a powerful reminder of God's goodness and His grace through His Son.

A few people come to the forefront in my mind. One is my pastor. Joseph Brown has been a blessing to me. His counsel has meant a great deal to me. His preaching has changed my life. Too many churches are legalistic and don't welcome every sinner through the door. Joseph is not that man. He wants to share the Good News, so that no man may perish. Another is Marlin Bontrager. I had never had an actual male role model growing up. Marlin is that role model for me now. He is a good father and a good witness for Jesus and biblical values. I'm glad I can call both of these men my friends. I must also acknowledge Allison Bontrager. All of her siblings mean a great deal to me, but it has been Allison who has been there at God appointed moments to offer a word of encouragement or a kernel of wisdom. She has a strong personality that rises above the muck and mire of today's self centered culture. She has a servant's heart for God and she serves as a light to other young women. When my confidence in the Lord could have been shaken, she acted as a clarion call to turn and seek God's face, and for that, I am eternally grateful. I also want to acknowledge a few more church members. Wilson Leppert has become a good friend and someone whom I can bounce ideas off of. We share similar outlooks on life and he is a good guy to talk to. Pete Schaeffer has been a light, as well. He is another man whom I can look up to(or down, if we're talking about height. I had to go there, Pete.) He is always ready to make someone laugh and I need that. He and his wife are bedrocks in the foundation of Marion Avenue Baptist Church. I don't think anyone at church is more synonymous with Marion Avenue(outside of the Brown family) than Pete. Just ask any one of the thousands of people every year who attend the Live Animal Christmas Play.

I am blessed to be in a church that is active in evangelism and outreach. I am so thankful and blessed to be a part of something that is much greater than me.

Lastly, I want to thank my mom from putting up with me for so long. I know I was a pain, from time to time. She endured so much for my sister and me. She didn't have the greatest example of a mother to draw from and yet, she has done her best in raising my sister and me. My mom has been a blessing, even if she worries too much(trust God and you won't need to worry, mom).

In closing, I want to leave you with a quote from one of the people I acknowledged above, "Don't forget to put on the armor of God every day (Eph. 6). And remember, it is not about being strong. God wants to be strong through us when we are weak. And if you don't feel equipped for what He is calling you to do, "He doesn't call the equipped, He equips the call." Go to Him in prayer and fasting when the way is dark and He will illuminate your path. One more thing- we serve a Savior who loves us at our worst. He breaks us to re make us- a more whole vessel than before." All I'll say to that is, Amen.

A Sincere Thank You

I was shocked when Ted Cruz suspended his campaign, our campaign, tonight. I have been reflective over the last few hours. 

While I am incredibly worried for our country, I must also thank Ted Cruz for actually running on issues and principles. It is clear that a large plurality of the electorate in the GOP and the whole electorate on the Democrat side don't care about those things any longer. That is too bad. Our nation will be judged by a just God.

Because of Ted's principled campaign, he attracted a large number of amazing people. The ones I've grown to be friends with here in Iowa and across the nation have impacted my life and for that, I will never be able to repay Ted Cruz. 

I now have a huge network of people that I know share my faith in Jesus, my ideals about Constitutional government and will be there should I need an ear to bend. 

I was so glad I was with my friends this evening when the news came in. We shared a meal and watched the results. There was a quietness about the first part of the evening at the Dutch Country Inn in Kalona as we watched and ate. I sat with Marlin Bontrager as Ted announced the suspension of his campaign. I was at peace because I knew that Jesus was and still is on the throne. I can say that easily to anyone I meet now because Marlin asked me to come to his church back on October 8th, 2015. Marion Avenue Baptist Church is my home away from home. As we adjourned to the Bontrager house for another of the desserts made from scratch that I've come to know and love(I think Chelsy made this one. Her rhubarb muffins and Allison's no bake cookies are my favorite foods in the world...I'm not kidding), we rehashed what had just happened. We laughed and we also discussed how Christian conservatives can move forward. I felt a sense of peace as I left around 10PM. Perhaps the most painful part of the evening was seeing the look on Taylor's face as he found out the news. Liz and Hudson were so looking forward to going to Nebraska with us to campaign this weekend too. I also got a text from Becky as she was in New York seeing her father. She sent an impassioned text to me and her family asking for clarity on why Ted had suspended his campaign. It took me quite awhile to come up with a response that I thought was satisfactory. I know she is a prayer warrior, like her daughters, and she will be in prayer for our nation. We all should be.

I want to thank Marlin, Becky, Chelsy, Mitchell, Allison, Carson, Joshua, Denver, Taylor, Elizabeth, Hudson and Rebecca for being the best kind of friends a person could ever have. I also need to acknowledge so many others. Pastor Joseph Brown and his family, Lyndsey Blagrave, Bethany, Ben, Tyler and Mary Dorin, Kaylee Morris, Philip Palmer, Wilson Leppert, Jeff King, Cecil Steinmetz, Daniel Bradshaw, Linda Stickle, Alex Seavey, Michael Keefer and Bryan English are just a few of the people that I now know as friends. I know I am missing so many more. 

The Iowa Cruz Team is the all star team of the campaign, if you ask me. There were reasons we were the ones in demand all across the country. We knew what we were doing and we also know Ted Cruz better than nearly anyone outside of his campaign team in Texas. 

I urge all lovers of liberty to stay close and keep in touch. We must all stay networked in order to respond to the pull of progressive populism and progressive socialism. Both seek to destroy Constitutional government and limit the individual. I will never bend to those ways of thinking.

I, for one, am done with the Republican Party. Not just sort of done. I mean done done. I will advocate for Christian conservative candidates. I will actively campaign against Donald Trump. The Iowa Republican Party offices all over the state will see me outside picketing against Donald Trump this fall. I will also advocate for an Article 5 Convention of States to reign in the federal government. It must be done.

For the locals in the area, I will be resigning from the Central Committee and I will be removing my name from the roles of the Republican party after I vote in the local election for Iowa State House. Royce Phillips is a good Christian man and I will vote for him.

Lastly, I ask all of you reading this to drop to your knees and pray to Almighty God. Our land will face very hard times in the next 4 years and we will need His mercy more than ever. We don't deserve a speck of what God gives us but because He loved us enough to send His Son to die for us and wipe our sins away, we can take solace in the fact that once we call upon His name He will save us.

Here are some of my photo memories from the campaign.

Daniel Bradshaw, Alex Seavey and me

Bryan English talking to a volunteer in South Carolina

At the South Carolina office in February

Dinner with Pastor Rafael

Jessica Ali, Chelsy, Taylor and Josh Bontrager and me after a day spent in Fairfield, IA

Iowa has a great Congressman in Steve King

The Urbandale, IA Cruz headquarters

The Bontrager Family Singers performing at a rally in Winterset, IA in January 2016

Josh, Allison and Mitchell telling people about Ted Cruz

One of the many debate parties at the Dutch Country Inn in Kalona

Talking to the press. I guess they had a knack for finding me.

Louie Gohmert is a national treasure.

Daniel Bradshaw's pie for the Marion Avenue Baptist Church Pie Auction benefiting the Live Animal Christmas Play 

Daniel Bradshaw, Cris Bontrager and me doing what we do.

Lyndsey and Alex

With Pastor Rafael Cruz

Lyndsey Blagrave(Smile Bryan)

Alex Seavey

Blue Hybner

Presenting Ted Cruz with a pen my step dad, Bill Belitz made by hand. 

At the Iowa Religious Liberty Rally in August.

I didn't know any of these people yet. This is where it all started.

Last Night

I'm not writing about the deal made between the Cruz Campaign and the Kasich people. That will be rehashed in the media for the coming weeks. Plenty will be said.

I am writing about what happened at my church on Sunday, May 24th during our evening service. I was changed. I thought I had been moved closer to God but I was broken last night. Instead of a sermon by our Pastor, the message was just people giving testimonies. I lost it. I realized that I had not been doing enough toward what God wants me to do.

I have never felt so broken but I also know that there is a path forward. I need to listen for that still small voice, as Pastor Brown always refers to. I need to put aside my own needs. I've always lived for me. It has been an empty and awful existence. I no longer will do that. I need to find away that I can be of service to others and make ends meet. I need to be able to tell people about Jesus. I trust that He'll provide a way.

A conversation I had over email with a friend has changed my outlook. This friend said this: "Keep pressing on. Don't forget to put on the armor of God every day (Eph. 6). And remember, it is not about being strong. God wants to be strong through us when we are weak. And if you don't feel equipped for what He is calling you to do, "He doesn't call the equipped, He equips the call."...One more thing- we serve a Savior who loves us at our worst. He breaks us to re make us- a more whole vessel than before." This is the second time that this same person has given me advice that has changed my life and I thank them for it. I don't want to call attention to this person but I think they'll know who I'm talking about. Thank you.

Last night broke me but with God's help, I'll come out the other side all the better to serve Him and to serve others in His name. I ask that you'll pray for me.

No Politics Today

I was all prepared to go all political today but there are still several months left in this primary season and then the lead up to the convention in mid-July, so I have plenty of time to expound and wax poetic on all things political. The ironic thing is all of the following thoughts are possible because I chose to get involved in the dirty business of politics. The Lord does work in mysterious ways.

I wanted to write today. New job news and many other things are in the works but the best thing is having a purpose greater than my own good. I had lost my way for many years while I just worked and went home and repeated the cycle every day. I had been driven by a job and money before. I no longer want to fall into that trap. While having a good job is great, I had been relying on myself too much.  I had been turning inward rather than turning toward God. I didn't realize how profoundly unhappy I had been until now. I am so glad I'm no longer trapped in a that old cycle.

There is so much more to life. There is a purpose above just a job. There are other people in this world that you can positively impact. Whether it is in deeds or words, there is always something you can do to help someone else. I had lost this purpose until I was led back to it. That there are people in my life that helped lead me back can be attributed to nothing but God's love and grace. I had done nothing to deserve what I've been given and there is no way I can ever pay back the kindness and love I've been shown, All I can do is try my best to live for God and in turn, show others what I've been shown.

So many thing have changed for me. I have lost the want to watch TV. I'd rather read or have a conversation with friends. I haven't had a drink of any sort of alcoholic beverage in almost 5 months. I used to drink to unwind a little. I don't need or want it any more. There is a peace that I have now that was missing before.

I notice things now that I didn't before this journey started. I find people that worry and complain more abrasive than before. Worry, anxiety and complaint are all just avenues to express doubt in God. There are no good reasons for these feelings. Instead, prayer has replaced those feelings in my life. One of my friends told me something a few months ago that has really stuck with me. A benefit of being a child of God is sweet peace in the midst of storms. Every time I find myself with a sliver of doubt or worry creeping in, I think that thought and I know I have no reason to worry.

I find things that didn't have any effect on me before do now affect me. I am pained by people that choose to follow false teachings relating to faith in God. I've been shown the truth. Telling people that they can live better and by doing that, they can experience salvation is nothing but a load of lies. The exact opposite is true. You'll just died a tired and condemned sinner. Before any true change can happen, you must accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior. After that, the works will come naturally if you remain rooted in the Bible and have a network of people around you that are on the same path. Jesus said that his yoke is light. He was completely correct. Having a mentor in this incredibly helpful. I have several people that I look to in order to see how a godly man should act. I pray that I can be that person for someone else in the future.

I find myself thinking of others when in a large group. Before, I always thought of how my decisions would affect me. Would I gain success? Now, I think of the effect on others before I make the decision. That doesn't mean that I hold back when speaking the truth. If the effect on others is for them to not like me because I spoke the truth, I'm now OK with that. I'd rather be on the right side with God and offend someone rather than placating them for worldly gain. God willing, the truth that I spoke would convict that other person in the future and help them turn toward God. Living for God is so much more fulfilling than living for yourself, wandering(and maybe wondering too) from one day to the next.

One other thing that really gets to me now that I've had a chance to reevaluate life is mistreatment of women. I never gave that much thought to how a person treated those around them but now that I know so many godly ladies, mistreatment of women really gets to me. I knew politics was going to creep in...what I've seen and heard from people associated with the Trump campaign raises a righteous anger in me. I don't like letting injustices slide. I've seen the comment sections on news articles written about certain friends and those people that would deride someone, especially a lady, for no reason other than their own misguided notions will now elicit a reaction from me. I don't let these things slide. I want to stand in the gap between today's declining culture and my friends who have done nothing but live for God and try to help others. I've seen both sides of all of these cultural battles and I can say, unequivocally, that I know which side I'll stand on from now on. I'm on the side of those working for Jesus.

None of these changes were overnight. I know God has worked and will continue to work in my life as long as I keep my eyes on His face and continue praying for His guidance in all that I do. I know this post won't get the most likes on Facebook or be retweeted multiple times but I needed to let the world know of the transformative ways of a God that loves us, if only we'd believe on His goodness and accept his Grace in the form of the ultimate Passover Lamb, Jesus Christ.

Amen.