Last Night

I'm not writing about the deal made between the Cruz Campaign and the Kasich people. That will be rehashed in the media for the coming weeks. Plenty will be said.

I am writing about what happened at my church on Sunday, May 24th during our evening service. I was changed. I thought I had been moved closer to God but I was broken last night. Instead of a sermon by our Pastor, the message was just people giving testimonies. I lost it. I realized that I had not been doing enough toward what God wants me to do.

I have never felt so broken but I also know that there is a path forward. I need to listen for that still small voice, as Pastor Brown always refers to. I need to put aside my own needs. I've always lived for me. It has been an empty and awful existence. I no longer will do that. I need to find away that I can be of service to others and make ends meet. I need to be able to tell people about Jesus. I trust that He'll provide a way.

A conversation I had over email with a friend has changed my outlook. This friend said this: "Keep pressing on. Don't forget to put on the armor of God every day (Eph. 6). And remember, it is not about being strong. God wants to be strong through us when we are weak. And if you don't feel equipped for what He is calling you to do, "He doesn't call the equipped, He equips the call."...One more thing- we serve a Savior who loves us at our worst. He breaks us to re make us- a more whole vessel than before." This is the second time that this same person has given me advice that has changed my life and I thank them for it. I don't want to call attention to this person but I think they'll know who I'm talking about. Thank you.

Last night broke me but with God's help, I'll come out the other side all the better to serve Him and to serve others in His name. I ask that you'll pray for me.